Leaving Cortona

Well the time has finally come, it is time to leave Cortona. A day that once seemed so distant is now a reality. We've all been talking about what we've learned on this trip and what it's meant to us, and I think it's a consensus that we all learned and encountered things that were totally different than what we expected. My patience has been tested on multiple counts. A week into the trip practically every piece of technology I had on me died or otherwise malfunctioned. I lived in a room with two other people and was otherwise surrounded by people all the time...typically not very quiet people. I did more work in 7 weeks that I typically do in a full semester with limited resources and once again, a lack of technology. I felt what it's like to be completely out of control: I spent the whole first week in Cortona shivering all the time because i was so cold, and in a small town with limited resources and a Georgia summer wardrobe, there was little i could do. I was used to being in the US where everything is at your beckon call, any problem could be solved within a few hours and things move at the speed of light. here i was in rural italy unable to change anything about my situation. the rest of the summer was spent perpetuating more of the same: lack of space and privacy and lack of contact with friends and family abounded. then the work came and because life and school have no boundaries between them here, I was just as stressed out in Italy as I often am at home during busy school times. every night i brushed my teeth while looking down on the camucia skyline and couldn't believe that another day had flown by.

now on the other side looking back at the summer, it has been such an amazing and in some ways wayward journey. thinking back on being at the atlanta airport leaving the states it feels like yesterday, but when i think back on all ive done it seems like forever ago. getting caught in a rainstorm on the way to dinner, dancing all night on the fourth of july, two massive hail storms, tails of the bro cave, "collaborations", late nights making books, hanging out with my cat and dog friends, awkwardly taking our clothes off at capri, drinking cocoa in the piazza and countless trips to snoopy's.

there are so many things i enjoyed about being here that i know i cant have in the united states. i loved not driving a car and being able to walk everywhere. i loved eating foods without tons of preservatives and chemicals all over them. i love being able to look out my bathroom window at something so beautiful. i loved not having to listen to the news, feeling disconnected from the horrible things going on in the world and i loved feeling completely safe walking home alone at night. i loved being immersed in art, it was intense and a lot of work but it helped me focus and it helped me find good directions to take. yes, i actually even loved doing my laundry by hand and drying it on a line outside, even though bugs sometimes pooped on it. i loved being in an environment that allowed all the disciplines to intermingle. i loved being able to focus on one thing without interruption for more than five seconds. at this point as much as i miss home, im scared to go back, and to be exposed to the antithesis of all these things ive grown to love. i feel like all the work on myself and my art could be easily crushed in a matter of days once exposed back to the reality of what is my real life.

we cant ever really say for sure what we will do with our experiences, how we will put them to use after they are just words on a page or pictures in a book. but this summer i have hiked mountains, created italian pastries, led karaoke, learned the art of bookmaking (and actually might not be bad at it), eaten my body weight in gelato, explored foreign cities, held onto my precious relationships. ive been discharged and recharged and now its time to go home.

its unrealistic to say that i will continue my experience after i go home, but if there's one overwhelming thing ive learned this summer, it is that life is unpredictable, uncontrollable and excellent. so tonight ill brush my teeth overlooking the skyline of camucia one more time, and know that in the end i know nothing and that is how life should be. its the not knowing that keeps it interesting, keeps you on your toes and keeps you moving.

and THAT, is my road, man.